How to Change an 084's Diapers
by hulkettesmash
Summary: Phil Coulson's is a high level SHIELD Agent. He willingly accepts any assignment given to him with no questions asked. In the years he spent working at said secret organization, he's used to facing danger. But now he's faced with the most dangerous mission of all time: changing an 084's diaper. Prequel to This Means War. Daddy!Coulson-centric. Drabble Collection.
1. Super Spy Dad

_**Hey guys, this is story is in the This Means War Universe. Although reading the other story is not required to understand this story, I would still like to invite you to read it as well. Also this one-shot series would not be following a specific timeline. So expect time jumping every once in a while.**_

_**Anyways...disclaimer: AOS belongs to Marvel Entertainment Group not me. **_

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Agent Phil Coulson is a Level 8 Mission Controller who oversees SHIELD's field operations. He specializes in designing high level mission strategies for some of the best field specialists.

Right now, he is in his office at The Hub in the middle of devising a plan that utilizes every talent of his agents for a retrieval operation when he was interrupted by one of his junior agents, Agent Amador. "Sir, Director Fury would like to have a word with you."

Phil entered Director Fury's office and saw the man wearing his usual leather trench coat and eyepatch that add to his intimidating demeanour, Fury's face remained devoid of any emotions but his pacing betrays his worry.

Not someone who waste time, Nick Fury quickly cut to the chase as soon as Coulson closed the door to his office, "I have a new mission for you." He knows that Phil is not someone who says no to any type of mission, he no longer waited for Coulson's acceptance and started on elaborating on his new mission.

"4 months ago I have sent agents to investigate about the report of an 084 at Hunan Province in China. However the response team failed to communicate with Shield so I had implemented a retrieval operation for the 084 led by Agent Linda Avery and Agent Richard Lumley along with 3 other combat operatives. The retrieval was a success however it was reported that the initial team and the entire village were murdered by unknown assailants." Fury paused to give Coulson the mission file.

Coulson read over the file and paused in confusion. Fury seeing Coulson's reaction continued.

"Yes, the 084 is an infant girl believed to posses mutant powers. The team was meant to turn her over to Shield however one by one the agents involved in the mission were being killed. Agent Avery fearing for the child's safety decided to deliver the baby to Saint Agnes Orphanage. She made arrangements with the foster care system to not keep the child in one place for too long. 2 weeks later Agent Avery was killed while Agent Lumley has gone missing."

"I had let it go because I thought that the arrangement was fool proof until a rich couple decided to adopt the girl. The orphanage has approved of the adoption before we were able to stop it so instead I've planted an undercover agent to act as the girl's nanny. As expected a group of unknown men killed the couple inside of their home while the agent managed to safely escape with the child unharmed."

"The child is now back at St. Agnes but she's is no longer safe in the hands of a group of nuns. It is best that Shield takes over the protection of the girl once more. This is the only complete copy left of the mission file regarding the girl. I have redacted some information to level 10 clearance; most info is completely wiped out of the system. I deemed it best to keep the girl hidden from the system including Shield's."

"Why?" Coulson asked confused as to why Fury is keeping this information from the organization that was meant to protect her.

"Because I do not trust Shield. There are only a few people that I fully trust and I can count them in one hand. Once the Council get a whiff of the girl they will not hesitate to use her as a lab rat to be experimented on. That is not a life meant for a child. I am fully convinced that that was part of the reason why Agent Avery decided not to turn the child over to Shield and I will not allow Agent Avery's death be in vain."

"Sir, if I may ask, what exactly is my mission in this?" Phil asked.

"Your mission is to adopt the girl and keep her protected at all times."

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**_AN: Thank you very much for reading. _**


	2. Mission Gadgets

Coulson has been in a middle of a war-zone countless times but none of them is a formidable as this.

He is standing in the middle of Babies-R-Us full of crying infants, screaming toddlers, frazzled parents, and excited new parents to be.

Agent Hill is already working on completing the necessary documents for adoption and it won't be long until he can finally pick up the baby girl from the orphanage. She advised Coulson to start preparing for the arrival of the girl. She told him buy all the necessities for taking care of a baby and to baby proof his apartment, whatever that means.

Coulson have absolutely no clue as to what a child would need. All that he knows about babies are that they sleep a lot, drink milk a lot and poop a lot.

Luckily for him a kind saleslady saw his struggle and approached him, "Hello Sir. You look confused. First time dad?" she asked smiling.

"I-uh. Yes. I suppose." Coulson said hesitantly not wanting to reveal any information just in case.

The saleslady misinterpreting Coulson's hesitation as nervousness of a first time father said "It's okay. We get a lot first time parents all the time. So what exactly do you need?"

"Uhm…everything?"

"Right of course. Well let's start with the basic. Right over in this section we have various types of crib sets." She went on to the crib section talking on and on about designs and functions of each type of cribs.

By the end of the day Phil purchased a crib, dresser, changing table, stroller, car seat, baby cloths, blankets, swaddles, formula bottles, diapers and all other infant necessities. He also bought table corner guards, plug outlets, and other stuff to baby proof his apartment.

"How come such a small being needs all this stuff?" Phil wondered as he tries to fit all of his purchases to his car.

"This is hopeless!" Phil exclaimed in frustration. He have tried to assemble the crib but only succeed on making a mess in his spare bedroom. Looking back at the manual, he tried to pinpoint what exactly went wrong.

"What's going on here?" He heard the voice of one of his closest friend Melinda May. She was standing outside of the room arms crossed with a judgemental look on her face.

"I'm trying to build a crib, if it's not obvious enough." Phil said still trying to decipher the instructions in the manual.

"Oh, I'm sorry. From this angle it looks like you're making a torture chamber. Besides why are you building a crib? Is your bed too small for you?" May joked as she slowly approach what seemed to be a wooden version if the iron maiden.

"Har har. It's not for me. I'm adopting a little girl." Phil said simply.

May stopped and looked at Phil as if he'd grown a second head. "Are you having a mid-life crisis?"

Phil looked up at the confused face of his friend and said, "No."

"Then explain to me why you are adopting a baby all of a sudden." She probed further still failing to see what pushed Phil to adopt.

"I just do. Can you stop with the interrogation and help me with this?"

Phil's attempt to redirect the conversation did not go unnoticed by May but she decided to let it go. "The footboard is in the wrong way up."

Phil internally smacked his head. _So that's why the latch brackets wouldn't fit, _he thought_. _

After the two finished assembling the all of the baby's furniture and baby-proofed the entire apartment, they both sat on the coach sipping a glass of wine.

"You'd tell me when you're ready won't you?" Melinda asked once again.

Phil knew that his friend will never let something like this go. She knows him better that most people and can easily tell when he's hiding something from her.

"I will" He promised. He knows he can trust her, but now's not the right time to tell her.

Melinda May nodded her head in acceptance and drained her glass.

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_Thanks for reading!_


	3. The 0-8-4 named Skye

Coulson is filling up the necessary paper works to finalize the adoption of the 084. In one of the papers that was handed to him by the orphanage's Mother Superior, Reverend Mother Maria Catalina, has all information regarding the child but one line stuck in his mind.

_Name: Mary Sue Poots _

That's an unfortunate name for a little girl. It was probably the name given to her by one of the nuns.

Coulson wondered if it's possible to have her name legally changed. He looked at the Reverend Mother smiling softly to him and silently observing him. And as if reading Phil's mind she asked "Would you wish to change the name of your daughter?"

"Yes, if that's possible?" He answered her smiling slightly albeit hesitantly.

"Of course. What would you like to call her?" She asked.

_What would I like to name her?,_ he silently wondered. Phil never really thought about what he would like to name the little girl. It still hasn't fully registered to him that he is adopting a little girl. As far as he's concerned, she's still just a mission. An 084 he's meant to protect.

He looked out the window and saw that it was a beautiful day outside. Clear blue skies, the wind breezing softly and the sun shining but not too hot. He's watching the children at the orphanage playing when it hit him.

Scratching out the name he wrote a new name that would always remind him of the day his life changed.

Another nun who introduced herself as Sister Mary Rose entered the office carrying a sleeping girl bundled in a pink overused, possibly a second-hand donation, blanket in her arms.

"Hello Mr. Coulson." She smiled warmly, "may I present you your new daughter Ms. Mary Sue Poots." She announced handing him the small child.

"Skye" he corrected looking at the sleeping girl snuggled in his arms "her name's Skye Coulson."

Not Mary Sue. Not an 084. Skye. His daughter.

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_A/N: Thanks for reading. Next chapter would be posted in a few minutes._


	4. Deadly Cute

Skye has instantly become an Unofficial Agent of Shield. All Shield agents are used to Phil Coulson briefing teams with Skye on a baby carrier attached to him.

She's a well behaved baby and almost everyone in every Shield facility adored her and are often fighting to get her attention. Most often seen arguing on whose turn it is to babysit are Hawkeye and the Black Widow. Who would have thought that the two most lethal assassins are brought down by an adorable baby girl?

"You got your chance yesterday, now's my turn." The young archer complained.

"She likes me better so it's my turn." The redheaded assassin argued back trying to steal the milk bottle from her partner.

Skye on the other hand is enjoying watching the two young assassins fight over who gets to feed her. She's been giggling and clapping her hands clearly entertained by the two.

The Shield Director assessed the situation and knew that if he doesn't try to stop the two agents it'll turn into a real bloody fight soon.

"Enough! Agent Barton, hand over the bottle." Fury said using his voice that demands authority. Clint Barton knowing that it would be bad to piss off his senior officer, reluctantly handed him the bottle sulking over his missed chance at feeding the baby.

Fury roughly took the bottle from the young agent's hands then proceeded to carry the baby girl to his office.

Fury sat in his chair and fed the girl her milk formula watching her amuse herself by trying to reach his eye-patch. He started wondering what is it about this girl that managed to pull the heartstrings of even the most deadly killers on earth.

As if reading the man's thoughts, Skye looked directly at his eye and smiled her toothless grin that had him wrapped around her little fingers in an instant.

The normally intimidating Shield Director's lips upturned slightly finally realizing the little girls charming secret weapon. Kissing the girl on her forehead he whispered "you'd be causing so much trouble once you grow older."

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_A/N: Thanks for reading._


	5. Roomful of Mercenaries

When Phil first introduced Skye to Melinda, she couldn't help but fall in love with the baby. She was still hesitant about her at first, content with staring from afar and if it wasn't for Phil's insistence she wouldn't have been carrying the child like she's doing right now.

The moment she took hold of Skye she knew she would do just about anything to protect her. She was truly excited when Phil told her at that moment that she's going to be the Godmother of this precious gem.

It was Clint's, and by association Natasha's, idea to set up the welcoming party for their supervising officer's new daughter. And every Shield agent close to Phil was invited including the Director himself.

Melinda was still confused about his attendance, but then again Phil is one of Fury's most trusted agents, and clearly one of his favorite. But unlike all the rest who wanted a glimpse or a chance to hold the baby, he remained on one corner quietly keeping a good eye on everyone.

Almost everyone was excited for the baby's arrival, Clintasha most especially. The two are already arguing on who gets be the girl's SO. And as soon as Phil came in with the baby they both started arguing over who gets to hold her first.

They finally settled the argument by playing rock, paper, scissors to which Natasha won much to Clint's dismay.

She still doesn't know the full truth behind the reason for his sudden decision to adopt and the truth is she never saw Phil as the father type.

But she couldn't be more wrong.

Phil was obviously wrapped around the little girls small fingers and she could help but think that being a father suits him. He's very much attentive and quite over protective of the little girl.

His eyes never left her and always hovering over whoever is holding her. One small uneasy squirm from the baby and he'd be taking her back to his arms. Phil is going to be a great, but possibly slightly overbearing, father to this little girl.

Melinda looked back at the small warm bundle sleeping in her arms and smiled. "Hello there princess. You're gonna be the most well protected baby in the entire world." The lucky girl is gonna be the loved and well cared for and looked after not just by her father but by most of the mercenaries present in this very room.

No man will harm her and live to tell the tale.

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_**A/N: Thank you to everyone who favorite, followed and reviewed. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well.**_

_**This story comes the day after Phil adopted Skye. I'd like to mention that I'd be timeline jumping every now and then. Actually there is no specific timeline set, just random but still conected oneshots that comes out of my brain. ****Just to avoid confusion, I'll be sure to include Skye's age in all chapters.**_

_**Lastly, this chapter is dedicated to RegalSwanQueenMarvel who requested for a Melinda POV (sort of). I still have a few more ideas for a Skyetasha and Skyelinda fics in my head that I still haven't written down.**_


	6. Bloodbath

Phil is reviewing some reports on last week's recon when a twelve years old Skye knocked hesitantly at his home office. "Daddy?"

"Yes, Sweetpea? Is something wrong?" Phil asked worried closing his laptop to attend to his daughter.  
Skye shook her head looking down, "can you call Aunt Mel?" She asked nervously biting her lips eyes almost in tears.

"Aunt Mel is in mission in Alaska." He explained kneeling down in-front of her, "Can't you tell daddy instead what's bothering you?"

"I'm bleeding." She mumbled quietly, too quietly for Phil to discern her words.

"What was that sweetheart? I did not hear you." He asked again wiping the lone tear that fell from her eyes.

"Daddy I'm bleeding." She repeated louder this time. "I want Aunt Mel." she pleaded embracing her father crying.

Hugging his daughter back Phil kissed her hair and calmly asked "Oh honey. Where were you injured?"  
"No daddy. I'm bleeding...down there." Skye tried to explain in between sobs but her father clearly still does not get it.

"Daddy I'm having my period." She cried out voice shaking in distress.

It took a few minutes before Phil managed to process what Skye told him. "Oh! Oh Shit!" He swallowed clearly flustered.

_Of all days for Melinda to be out of town_, he thought.

"Uhm...stay here I'll be right back." He said panicking as he went to grab his keys and quickly run off to the garage.

"You know the drill kiddo. Lock all the doors and don't let anyone in. I'll be back in a few minutes." He yelled back as he started his car and drove off to the nearest grocery store.

Phil stood confused in front the aisle of the feminine...stuff. He has absolutely no clue which one would a girl having her first period need.

_This was not part of my training. What the hell am I supposed to do?_

He knows he can't call Melinda mid-op. it would be too dangerous and it's against protocol.

Luckily for him a Chinese woman, probably in her late twenties or early thirties, took pity on him and approached him. "Hi, do you need any help?"

Phil was taken aback by the beautiful face marred with scars. But despite the obvious evidence of pain that she went through, her steely eyes shows an incomparable strength she possessed.

Shaking himself of the momentary distraction he focused at the woman's curious yet kind smile. "I-uh-my daughter's having her first...uhm...you know. I don't know what to do." Phil admitted embarrassed for not having a single clue on what to do.

_What does a normal father does in this kind of circumstance? _

"Ahh...I see." She nodded in understanding. She picked up a bag of one of those feminine stuff. "Here you go. Pads are more advisable for young adults starting their monthly periods. When she gets older then she can try using tampons. - " she handed Phil the pads before continuing "- you should also buy some sweets like chocolate and ice cream. It helps. A lot." She chuckled at her own joke and Phil smiled back at her.

"Thank you so much. You're a life saviour." He grinned back saving all those information for future reference.

"Oh no, its nothing. I have a daughter too, at least a used to." she said her face revealing great sadness and pain.

"I'm guessing mom's a bit busy?" She asked in an attempt to start a small conversation as she led Phil to the ice cream section.

"There's no mom." Phil answered shortly, his tone conveying the end of that conversation.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude." She apologized, handing Phil a tub of chocolate ice cream, embarrassed from her earlier comment.

"It's okay. And I'm sorry to hear about your daughter too. And thank you again for your help." Phil said sincerely.

"You're welcome...sorry I didn't catch your name."

"It's Phil." He answered stretching his hands for her to shake

"It's nice to meet you Phil. I'm Jiaying." She shook his outstretched hand. "Well Phil good luck with your daughter. She's really lucky to have you as her father." She smiled and left him.

_There's something eerily familiar with that woman_, was his last thought before proceeding to the cashier to pay for his purchase.

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_**A/N: Just a little something to celebrate the upcoming AoS Season Finale (or as I call it, end of the roller-coaster of AoS feels and start of hiatus torture). So who's ready for the Finale?! Certainly not me!**_

_**Anyways, another chapter coming up in a little while.**_


	7. Bullseye

"Focus on the target" Clint whispered to Skye's ears.

"Now take a deep breathe...Inhale and exhale" Skye, on the other-hand, followed every instruction given to her.

"Now release!" A six years old Skye threw the water balloon as hard as she could and hit the back of Agent Sitwell's bald head perfectly.

"I did it!" Skye exclaimed jumping up and down laughing and her pigtails bouncing.

"Great job kiddo! We'll make a perfect sniper out of you." he said highfiving the girl.

"Barton!" Both were interrupted from their small celebration by the yell of a fuming and soaked senior Agent marching towards their location.

"Alright Skye, let's put your speed and cardio training to test. Let's run away as fast as you can from bald man. Go!" He yelled and run off with the giggling girl around The Hub with the angry "bald man" hot on their heels.

"Hi Daddy, Bye Daddy!" a giggling Skye waved at him as she and a laughing Clint Barton sped past him. Soon after, a huffing red faced Agent Sitwell came running after them yelling "Come back here you mangy rascals! This suit is dry clean only!"

After witnessing this certain event, Phil can't help but ask himself, _Why do I keep allowing Clint Barton to babysit my daughter?_

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**_A/N: It's really short but I hope you guys still like it._**

**_Dedicated to shikasgirl10 a_****_nd to everyone else who requested for a Clint/Skye fic._**


	8. Russian Influence

This is the last thing that Phil expected from raising a young prepubescent child. Don't get him wrong, he knows a lot of parents undergoes through having problems from troublesome adolescents. But he was expecting something more like trouble with her school and grades, although she never really had a problem with those before, or god forbid it, dating boys.

But his young daughter hacking a government agency was the last thing from his list.

"I swear I was being careful. I camouflaged my access to their system. I carefully covered my IP address and used a signal scrambler to keep them off my scent. I even erased all electronic paper trails so they won't be able to track me down even if they tried." she argued.

"Explaine to me why exactly were you hacking The Pentagon?"

The 12 years old Skye shrugged , "I got bored."

"You got bored? The FBI, CIA and NSA are currently trying to hunt you down!" He scolded her becoming more aggravated by the minute.

"But they won't succeed. Relax dad, Natasha taught me everything that she knows about hacking. She even said that I surpass her own skills." Skye bragged, proud of her own talent but Phil was not amused.

"That's it! You are grounded young lady. No internet access and you are not allowed to touch any electronic device until further notice. You know where the tracking bracelet is." He ended the conversation walking away to his office ignoring Skye's protests and complains of how he's not being fair.

Heaving a sigh, he grabbed his phone and dialed the direct-line to Pentagon. If there was ever a time where he's thankful of his high level security pass, it's now. Although he's confident about his daughter's hacking skills and her ability to cover her tracks, he still have to make sure that she doesn't end up in a Wanted list.

After hours of convincing them on putting a stop to their search of the mysterious hacker he went on to dial the number of a certain Russian red-headed bad influence.


	9. Plan B

Phil is wearing a suit, not the mandatory Shield business suit, but a black tailor fit tuxedo complete with bow-tie that was specially made for a wedding.

Skye, who's currently sitting down waiting for the march to begin, is wearing a beautiful cream-colored dress and her long brown locks held together by a flowered pin.

It's a gorgeous day, a perfect day for a wedding. And Phil is honored with a task to walk the beautiful bride down the aisle.

Before the march begun the beautiful bride, Melinda May, came out wearing a simple white wedding dress her hair in elegant ringlets framing her radiant smiling face.

"Thank you again for doing this for me." She said placing her hands on his hooked arms.

"Trust me, the pleasure is all mine." he answered placing a kiss on his best friend's head.

Skye was so ecstatic to find out that she was chosen to the the flower girl. She took her job seriously and practiced at home using colored papers the she cut to look like flower petals.

She slowly led the wedding march as she scattered mixed variants of petals along the way; followed by a group of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Lastly, Phil walked Melinda down the aisle towards the grinning Andrew, eyes sparkling with love and adoration for the woman in Phil's arms.

And Phil can't help but be proud to be part of this momentous occasion.

Hours later, Natasha sat beside him at the reception donning a beautiful dark blue gown.

"You did a great job at walking Mel down the aisle. You know it's a great that you were able to practice with her because pretty soon you'll be walking Skye down the same aisle towards her husband to be." She teasingly smirked before sauntering away.

Directing his gaze back at his sweet and innocent 7 years old daughter running around the hotel reception area playing with the other children, Coulson can't help but feel scared at the thought of that ever happening.

"Plan B", Coulson muttered to himself.

"What's plan B, Daddy?" Skye suddenly came up behind him, her eyes wide with curiosity.

"Nothing, sweetheart. Why don't you go ahead and play." He dismissed her and let her run off to play with the other kids.

_What's plan B? Plan B is Plan Bambino, my solution to any guy who threatens to steal you away from me._


	10. How to Babysit an 084

Having a group of trained assassins to babysit your daughter could often lead to disaster. To prevent said disaster Phil created a manual for all SHIELD agents assigned to babysit the little girl.

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**How to Babysit an 084**

1\. Knives are not proper toys. (No Clint, it doesn't matter if it's pink and has sparkles, it still is not an acceptable toy for children)

2\. A puppy and a kitten are suitable pets for children...spiders, snakes, scorpion and any other venomous animals aren't. (Piranhas are not allowed either)

3\. Tiger cub does not count as kitten... (Honestly, where the hell do you get all these animals?)

4\. Stories where characters get decapitated and/or killed is not an appropriate bed-time story. (No Natasha, the Budapest story is not appropriate either)

5\. No cleaning of guns, arrows and any other type of weapons and artillery in front of Skye.

6\. Stop telling Skye that Fury is a pirate. Or that he's related to Mad-eye Moody.

7\. And for heaven's sake Barton stop telling Skye that Fury is secretly Mace Windu. (Even if they do look a lot alike)

8\. Stop telling Skye that Fury's hiding a Sharingan behind his eye patch.

9\. No sharp deadly objects within Skye's reach. (For fucks sake Barton, stop being a slob. Stop leaving your arrows on the floor where Skye can reach it. Especially the poisoned ones and the ones rigged with explosives.)

10\. No playing with real guns.

11\. No playing with tasers either.

12\. No more horror movies before bedtime. (I don't care if you didn't know that Chuckie was a horror movie because it has a picture of a doll on the cover)

13\. Natasha, please stop eating Skye's cereal.

14\. And Clint…if I ever see you drink from the milk carton again I will make you report to Victoria Hand.

15\. No cursing in front of Skye.

16\. Although I appreciate you guys teaching Skye a new language. Please refrain from teaching her Russian or Chinese curse words. (This rule goes to you too Barton. Stop teaching her curse words in ASL)

17\. Fast-food is not considered as a healthy meal. (French Fries are not vegetable. I don't care if it's made of potatoes)

18\. Chocolates is not a vegetable either (I don't care if they came from a plant).

19\. Natasha, please stop teaching Skye how to hack into government database.

20\. Bringing Skye to the archery range is not qualified as an educational trip Barton. (And stop calling her your mini-hawkeye in training)

21\. Stop calling Skye Baby Hawkeye or Black Widow Spiderling. She is not going to become your sidekick. (That goes to you to Melinda...Stop calling her Little Cavalry or Mini-May.)

22\. When I said take Skye to the playground, I didn't mean the secret Shield base. If I received another call from one of the Koenigs about damages, it'll be from your pay check.

23\. The Koenigs are not the Shield version of Clone Troopers so stop telling Skye that. They are not clones they're triplets, I think.

24\. Stay away from my Captain America collectibles (When I found out who put water stain on my mint conditioned Captain America comics, I will kill you)

25\. My Captain America Shield replica is not a toy. (See rule #24)

26\. Agent Sitwell's head is not to be used as a Nerf target practice.

27\. Agent Sitwell's head is not a canvas to be drawn at with permanent marker. (Even if he's sleeping during work hours.)

28\. Romanoff, I know how much you hate Agent Sitwell but did you really have to bring a Sitwell Piñata at Skye's birthday party?

29\. Natasha, I gave you permission to teach Skye ballet not martial arts. (This goes for you too Melinda)

30\. To whoever sent Skye that blasted fake Hogwarts admission letter will be automatically transferred to Victoria Hand's team. (Do you have any idea how long she cried when I told her Hogwarts isn't real and that the letter is a fake? And where the hell did you even get that trained owl?)

31\. Stop wasting Shield resources to prove that Hogwarts is real. (And no, using Shield resources to make Skye believe in Santa Clause and the Tooth-fairy is not considered wasting, it's called good parenting.)

32\. In relation to earlier rule, stop stealing the Quintjet to take Skye to Scotland in an effort to find where the Hogwarts Castle is.

33\. In addition to rule #32, stop going to Scotland to hunt for unicorns. (Just because Unicorns are their national animal it does not mean they exist. And no, Voldemort did not eat them all to extinction.)

34\. Stop calling me a dumb muggle! (I don't know what that means, but I'm sure it's meant to be an insult.)

35\. Melinda and Andrew, stop stealing Skye to get a Family discount promo from your favourite restaurant.

36\. Stop telling Skye that Agent Hand is a vampire. Or that Agent Hand is secretly a witch. Stop telling Skye anymore lies about Agent Hand; she's already scared of that woman.

37\. Stop telling Skye that Melinda is really Mulan. (Even if they do sound alike. Except when singing.)

38\. If Skye asked to paint your toenails, you'll let her paint your toenails. (I don't care if it's emasculating you; you love the pretty pink sparkles on your toes. Any objections and you'll have Melinda May to answer to.)

39\. If anyone had seen 3 baby chicks running around The Hub, capture them (without killing them) and bring them back to my office. (It's for Skye's school project)

40\. Andrew, Skye's not a test subject to figure out which Child Development Theory's more accurate.

41\. Do not use Lola to go to McDonalds Drive Thru

42\. Do not touch Lola!


End file.
